20th May Leaning at Work Day- Learning Styles!

Strengths and Weaknesses of the Learning Styles

·         There are four different styles of learning

·         Some people predominate in one particular style, while others are comfortable with two or more

·         Learning should cater for all styles

·         Training/development should address strengths and improve on weaknesses

Style	Strengths	Weaknesses
Activist	·         flexible and open-minded ·         happy to have a go ·         optimistic about anything new therefore unlikely to resist change	·         tendency to take immediately obvious action without thinking ·         gets bored with implementation and consolidation
Reflector	·         careful ·         good at listening to others and assimilating information ·         rarely jumps to conclusions	·         inclined to hold back from direct participation ·         slow to make mind up and reach decision
Theorist	·         logical vertical thinker ·         rational and objective ·         good at asking probing questions	·         restricted in lateral thinking ·         low tolerance for uncertainty,disorder and ambiguity
Pragmatist	·         keen to test out things in practice ·         technique orientated ·         practical, down to earth, realistic	·         inclined to reject anything without an obvious application ·         not very interested in theory or basic principles

Factors affecting the selection of learning approach

·         The learners’ preferred learning style(s)

·         Current skill levels

·         Number of learners

·         Availability of learners

·         Learners’ motivation

·         Age composition of the group

Handling difficult work people

Difficult people usually mean difficult relationships and that means difficult conversations.  Sometimes focussing on enhancing the conversational dynamics can help the relationships become less difficult.  

For some reason some people push our buttons, be it a ‘personality’ clash or perhaps they don’t listen, take credit for our work, waste our time with trivial issues, act like a know-it-all or constantly criticize us.  Often the solution is easy, as long as you don’t ignore it and can EBBOM (engage brain before opening mouth)!  Follow my 7 top tips for handling difficult people.

1. Don’t jump to ‘DEXTIFY’

When people are behaving in a difficult manner it is very easy to start defending, excusing or justifying our position.  This is a passive response and instantly sends a signal to the other party that they have some power over us.  Giving a difficult person power is a sure fire way that they will continue to be ‘difficult’ again and again in the future.  Instead, simply understand that these people are called ‘difficult’ for a reason and nothing that you can say is going to make them consider your side of the story.  One thing that helps is to create the habit of asking before telling.  By asking how they perceive the issue/situation/topic you give yourself the time and space to EBBOM and restore a feeling of calmness.  There is more likely to be a shift in the relationship if you express interest in the other persons response, ask “Well what do you think, how do you see it?”    In that moment all difficulty in the conversation tends to dissolve.  You are calm because you are no longer in an inferior position ‘dextifying’.  And they are open.   

2. Preserve your self-esteem and don’t take it personally

Difficult work situations are rarely personal; they are about a situation/topic or idea. Never allow the disagreement to become personal as it builds barriers and makes finding a solution almost impossible.  Remind yourself of the facts, logic and process and respond to those and not the emotional/personal content of delivery.  If you feel the ‘difficult’ personal has been unprofessional towards you, then it may be helpful to deliver that person some feedback about their behaviour.  Do this privately and follow the simple rule of E2C, example, effect, change; ‘when you implied that I hadn’t contributed to the project in the meeting, I found it very unprofessional, unfair and untrue and am disappointed by it. In future I must ask that you don’t make comments like that again’

3.  Avoid presumption and assumption and listen

It almost goes without saying that conversations work better when we presume nothing and assume nothing.   When you make an assumption or presumption you become ‘closed’ around your own conclusions about their motivation, intention and behaviour.  What the other person is saying is important.  Acknowledge their concerns and validate their feelings with empathetic responses.  This in turn will naturally reveal and dissolve your assumptions.  Being open with active listening, even when you want to be closed around your assumptions, is an obvious imperative to a stress free exchange.  Use speech such as, ‘So, what I have hear is XYZ has happened and I can see how it would have made you upset. Leave it with me to consider further and then let’s arrange a time to talk again and explore a way forward.’ Be calm and assertive at all times and if the conversation seems to be going around and around, or is no longer productive, you will have to curtail it.

4. Remember your primary responsibility

In my work I often hear ‘they make me so angry’ or ‘they frustrate the hell out of me’ and after a lifetime of conditioning we learn to believe it’s ‘the other’ that makes us feel what we feel, think what we think, and do what we do.   It’s not easy to remember it’s not them, it’s me!  This is the first, crucial step in changing a ‘difficult’ person into one which we can manage and even tolerate.  A conversation between two self made victims seldom gets very far.  Don’t forgot to take responsibility for your own emotional state and get bound up in your own feelings.  Otherwise life becomes a series of very brief conversations!  

5. Drop the past and pick up the future.

Often people become increasingly ‘difficult’ over time and that is usually because we have unresolved conflict from a past encounter that ended badly.  Any unresolved conflict perpetuates future conflict and turns once ‘normal’ people into ‘difficult’ people.  It’s not easy to wipe the slate clean and start afresh, but acting ‘as if’ your next encounter is your first encounter will help you to quash those pre-determined emotional flares.  If the past comes up, don’t dwell in it by continuously going over it, ask (only once) what happened and what, if anything, can be learnt.  Then, what happens now and how will we deal with the same situation/issue next time.

6. Respect is the key ingredient.

Difficult colleagues are usually a) someone of whom we are scared, which means we are fearful of what they might say, or b) with someone that we have decided we simply don’t like.  Any previous negative experiences (memories of suffering that you attributed to them) or any previous negative judgment will not allow you to give respect to the other.  Any relationship that is without mutual respect is going to flounder as animosity flourishes fast. 

One of the first things we can do is to find something we admire in that person, we find difficult.  It could be we think they are technical specialists or creative or charismatic.  Find at least one or two positive qualities or attributes within ‘the other’ and see them as that during your interactions.  It doesn't need to be said, although sometimes it helps but primarily it’s the value that you attribute to them that transmits.  They will sense that you value them.  This is sometimes enough to unblock your own ability to connect and communicate calmly and clearly, and it makes it easier for them to reciprocate by responding openly and proactively.   But don’t depend on it happening instantly!

7. Stay positive, calm and rational

The great thing about handling difficult colleagues, is that is makes everyone else really easy to communicate with.  Simply saying ‘I can handle it’ is a great positive, assertive affirmation to hold, which is a great grounding to deal with difficult situations in the future.  Try to be the opposite of the difficult colleague.  Live as an example of tolerance, patience, humility, positivity and even kindness (as challenging as that might be).   You will not be able to solve or change everything but you will be able to walk away knowing that that you have handled things in the best way that you could – positively, calmly and rationally.

For any other advice and tips on confidence and assertion look at www.newhabits.co.uk, follow our Facebook page /newhabits or contact Joanna Reynolds 01142214876

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Profiling - what do you think?

In recent years there has been an increase in the number of trainers learning to use profiling analysis, such as MBTi to get better results from their training sessions. We use models such as MBTi and Belbin to help our coachees and delegates understand why they do what they do and understanding how others work can really enhance the effectiveness of leadership and teams. It has been very helpful to me and so here is a little example of a profiling tool to help you determine someone’s personality and their overall beliefs and approach to life. Hope you find it interesting too.

What are the main profiles?



They fall into four categories often referred to as DISC.



“D” Dominance

“I” Influence

“S” Steadiness

“C” Compliance


DOMINANCE

Characteristics of the “High D”

Strong minded and decisive. They ask short direct questions and expect short factual answers. They are very results-oriented with a high activity level, which can make them impatient and intolerant of others who do not move quickly enough. The high D does not flinch from conflict easily. “Let’s get this sorted out”. Good with detail and paperwork. The D is the one who makes the rules for the rest of us.



Strengths

High activity level combined with a low need for close supervision means the result is high productivity. They want to be in charge and usually end up achieving their ambitions because of their natural leadership skills



Weaknesses

Intolerant and impatient with individuals who cannot keep up their pace or make decisions as quickly as they can. Their no-nonsense attitude and lack of tact can damage relationships.



Body language

Solid and strong with little head and body movement together with 90% plus eye contact, the D can come across as aggressive to some people. The D is the one who makes the rules. Many of the sentences they use contain the “I” word eg:-…. “What I want… ” “I expect …” “Last year I …”



THE INFLUENCER



Characteristics of the “High I”

Influencers are easily recognized by their expressive communication skills. The “I” likes to talk and listen and are good motivators because of good verbal skills. They enjoy meeting new people, exploring new ideas and developing new concepts. The “I” is the one who breaks the rules.



Strengths

Like the “D” they are goal oriented. They are motivated to achieve success in any area that sees them actively involved with people. They are empathetic and will happily share ideas and thoughts with others.



Weaknesses

Their impulsiveness coupled with their need to serve everyone’s needs often means they lack good administration skills. They typically have a difficult time setting priorities and they reinterpret rules and regulations to allow themselves independence. Meetings often overrun because they enjoy conversation. Their enthusiasm may lead you to believe they have bought into their ideas, so get confirmation before moving on.



Body language

Open and enthusiastic style with friendly eye contact. They use their hands and arms to help communicate. They look up to remember things more than the others. The “I” is the one who breaks the rules.



STEADINESS



Characteristics of the “High S”

The “S” is the thinker - analytical and introspective. They rely upon structure and procedures to complete job duties. Their activity level is even-paced and consistent. Things must be analysed and thought through before any decision can be made. Making the right decision is much more important than pleasing others. How well the job is done is always more important than how quickly it can be done. Others describe them as quiet, logical, thorough, reserved and accurate.

Strengths

They can follow a specific and often complex routine that demands thorough analysis. Decisions are made objectively without being influenced by others. They enjoy study and intellectual challenges related to their profession. Job changes are few and far between. Security is much more important than other needs. As a result, they are dependable and consistent in their work effort, self-disciplined and methodical.

Weaknesses

Though the steady person is self-disciplined and efficient, they have difficulty setting priorities. They can get lost in the analysis at times and are unable to meet pressured deadlines. They lack the ability to be decisive at times. In addition, they would rather listen than talk.

Body language

Very quiet with little movement. Eye contact is less than the others

Their voice is much quieter and slower as they think things through before answering. The “S” is the one who conforms to the rules



COMPLIANCE



Characteristics of the “High C”

They are even-paced, consistent, and patient with those who stick to the rules. They enjoy relationships that are honest. They typically enjoy listening more than talking. They often rank friends and family even above themselves. Compliant people are helpful and kind. They are non-competitive and easy going. The “C” conforms to the rules

Strengths

The Compliant person’s strength is in their sensitivity to others. They are typically well liked and sincerely appreciated, especially by those who may have personal or emotional problems and seek assistance from the supporter. They make good counsellors because of their patience and ability to listen while others vent their frustrations. Their compassion and sensitivity are their greatest assets.

Weaknesses

Compliant people often find it difficult to manage their time when they are constantly being interrupted by the needs of others who depend upon them. Their inability to say no at times puts them into situations that inevitably produce stress and anxiety. Their even-paced, highly predictable work effort also causes problems when speed of production is more important than quality of production. They are stressed when others demand change without giving them significant warning¬

Body language

The body language is serious, similar to that of the D. They are polite with little movement. Unlike the “D” who uses the “I” word such as “I want” the “C” uses the “we“ word quite often when communicating “What we do…..”, “We normally …”. Last year we …”, The “C” likes the rules.

It is likely that you will recognise yourself in one of the above descriptions, whilst at the same time you will see parts of yourself in the other descriptions as well. The important thing to understand is that the main aspect of someone’s personality is usually obvious and that is what you work with to get the best results.



Having decided the individual profiles of yourself and the delegates on your course, the next step is to look at how they absorb information and how to deliver your modules to suit the different profiles you are faced with.

new habits – successful change through people

Hello all, this is my first blog and I am very happy to be eventually blogging.

To start I think I will give you a little info about our company.

new habits is a training, coaching and consultancy firm which deliver exemplar personal development programmes. I came to set up new habits after 27 years working in corporate and central government as a project manager and trainer. I enjoy coaching, I am fascinated by how the mind works and I inherently believe that with the right skills people have the choice to change any situation into a positive experience. I have been delivering training and coaching under new habits since 2004 and now the company has 5 key members and 2 very well acclaimed associates.

Our vision is simple, we believe in people and we are committed to getting the best out of people. We also believe in helping others and every year we donate 10% of our company profits directly to Charity.